Cultivating Trust on Your Teams

Over the past couple of weeks, we have done a deep dive in to the second of the “Four Pillars of Trauma-Informed Leadership™”, Trust. This week, we’re focusing on sharing specific strategies that you can use with both individuals on your team, and with your team more broadly to cultivate trust. I will be the first to admit that these can be difficult. When you lead a team who has experienced significant ruptures in trust, whether this occurred prior to you stepping into your position, or while you have been a leader, it can be challenging to chart a new course. Many team members can be deeply embedded in the narrative that the leadership or organization is not trustworthy. I’m not going to pretend that any of these activities lead to changes overnight. We are talking about significant organizational shifts that occur over a period – at least six months to a year, or even longer. This work takes a conscious commitment on the part of you as a leader to implement. However, it is possible.

 How to Build Trust with Individuals on Your Team

The following are some strategies that you can use with individual members of your team to cultivate trust:

·         Consistency – While this may seem like a no-brainer, I think that many leaders dismiss the important role that they play in just being consistent with their team members. This means to be present, check in, follow-up with staff.  I understand that all leaders might feel differently about this. I have known leaders who were happy to be available for their staff members 24/7. For me personally, that was a bit difficult (and wasn’t a business necessity for my job). The important thing is to understand what being consistent means to you and communicating that message to your team. Are you available by text message or by phone if they need you? How often do you check-in with them? Your consistent and authentic presence helps to build trust.

·         Have the hard conversations – For many leaders, this might be the most challenging part of their jobs. I know it was for me. However, I can’t stress this enough - don’t put these off or think that the problem will “just go away.” When I start leading staff members, I will tell them that one of my commitments is to have hard conversations with them early – if I’m worried about something, they will know it. Prior to having the conversation, it’s important to become clear on the issue that is occurring, and what type of resolution will bring about the best solution to the issue. If you’re bothered by something, take a step back and examine why this is bothering you.  Is it the way that your staff member talks to others in a meeting? Maybe the issue is a lack of open communication and respect. Take some time to figure out the core issue so that you can communicate it clearly while also identifying when you are emotionally prepared to have a respectful and open conversation focused on problem-solving. In her book, “Dare to Lead”, Brene Brown highlights some great strategies to help you determine when you are ready to give tough feedback:

o   I’m ready to sit next to you, rather than across from you

o   I’m willing to put the problem in front of us, rather than between us

o   I’m ready to listen, ask questions, and accept that I may not fully understand the issue

o   I’m ready to acknowledge what you do well, rather than just picking apart your mistakes

o   I recognize your strengths and how you can use them to address your challenges

o   I can hold you accountable without shaming or blaming

o   I am open to owning my part

o   I can genuinely thank somebody for their efforts rather than just criticizing them for their failings

o   I can talk about how resolving these challenges will lead to growth and opportunity

o   I can model the vulnerability and openness that I expect to see from you

o   Prepare to have the conversation itself.

·         Question (and encourage staff to question) the “stories we tell ourselves” – This is one of my favorite strategies.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve experienced staff members who have created stories about why things are a certain way based on very disparate and inaccurate information.  When you are concerned about something, or hear a rumor amongst your team members, it can be helpful to take a step back. Instead of thinking about it as absolute truth and assuming you know the whole story, acknowledge that you may not have all the information. Re-frame the situation to be, “the story I’m telling myself is” and use that language when starting conversations about concerns with your team members. I have used this strategy quite a bit and it does a powerful job of honoring our personal experiences while also acknowledging that we may not have all the accurate information and that our team members have their own unique perspective. When I’m starting a conversation, sometimes I’ll say, “the story I’m telling myself is…” and encourage them to do the same. 

·         Foster reliability – Consistently deliver on commitments that the team makes to each other. Reliability is foundational to building trust. Only promise things that you know you can do and don’t promise things that you don’t. If you’re uncertain, it’s okay to say, “I’m going to try this, but I’m not sure if it will work.” Then keep the team member updated on the status.

·         Being approachable and friendly - People trust leaders they like. This is another one that seems so simple but can be difficult when we’re undergoing stress. If you’re feeling overwhelmed and find it difficult to be open and approachable with your team, take a brief break and ground yourself by doing some breathing exercises, listening to calming music, and just taking care of yourself. Doing this for just 5 minutes can be surprisingly helpful in allowing us to show up for others.

·         Championing authenticity, empathy and humanity – Be clear that you will be your authentic self and encourage them to do that same.

·         Show support for your team members, even when they make mistakes – We all make mistakes. How we handle mistakes is fundamental to building trust in our teams. It’s so important that we will devote time on future articles to dive deeper into this. For now, remember that we are all human and we all make mistakes. It’s how we handle mistakes that matters.

·         Set boundaries - When leaders are as clear as possible about what is acceptable, people feel more psychologically safe than when boundaries are vague or unpredictable.  In a future blog post, we are going to spend a lot of time going into detail about boundaries and why they are important, especially within a trauma-informed leadership framework.  However, in general, boundaries create safety.  They serve as guard rails, telling us when is acceptable and what isn’t.  Boundaries are your friend – implement them and then adhere to them.

·         Hold people accountable for transgressions - When people cross boundaries set in advance and fail to perform up to set standards, you must hold them accountable in a fair and consistent way. This is critical for a couple of different reasons.  First, if you set boundaries and don’t hold someone accountable for transgressing them, then “boundaries” become “suggestions”.  Second, when you have one member of your team who violates a boundary, and your other team members see that person get away with it, then the entire team will experience frustration.  Not only have you allowed someone to violate the sacred expectations you set up with your boundaries, but you also sent a message that it really doesn’t matter, and people can behave however they want.  While staff members likely will not always know the ways you set a specific staff member accountable, creating a culture where you are clear that everyone must follow the boundaries is an essential first step.

How to Build Trust within the Broader Team Dynamic

The following are some specific strategies that you can use at the team level to create trust:

·         Create psychological safety – Trust on teams is impossible to create without psychological safety. For suggestions on how to create psychological safety on your team, you are encouraged to review this article.

·         Build trust by talking about it – Have a conversation about trust as a team. Identify what builds trust and what can damage it for each team member. Develop a short list of the critical behaviors and practices of all team members – including the leader – can engage in to build and behaviors that can damage it.

·         Consider all voices – Ensure that all team members are involved in discussions regarding potential actions and directions, making decisions, and coordinating action.

·         Make and use team agreements –Talk about and agree on how you will work with each other, including how you will work through disagreements and conflicts.  Discuss how decisions will be made: how you will make, keep or change commitments, and what regular practices you will keep (such as starting each meeting with a quick check-in).  Create a plan for how you will communicate with each other and how you will hold each other accountable. 

·         Mind the team’s Mission/charter – Keep the team’s Mission/charter front and center. The team’s charter or mission states the results the team is expected to produce and for whom and why. It provides the context for all conversations, decisions and actions team members will engage in together. It is the “WHY”.

·         Build camaraderie – While the team may agree, disagree, argue and debate passionately about the best course of action, they do so as a band of comrades working towards a shared Mission. While they might disagree, they still enjoy being with each other and can have fun together.

Building trust takes TIME.  This is something that needs to be slowly cultivated in small moments and interactions.  However, you will feel it when it happens and then you just need to continue nurturing it and watch it grow!

What are some strategies you’ve used to cultivate trust on your teams? Comment below.

The Four Pillars of Trauma-Informed Leadership: Trust

Over the past couple of weeks, we did a deep dive into the first pillar of trauma-informed leadership, safety. Over the next three weeks, we’re going to dive into the second pillar in the “Four Pillars of Trauma-Informed Leadership,” trust. Trust plays a critical role in supporting positive organizational culture. What is trust? What does it mean to be a leader who embodies trust? How do leaders cultivate teams characterized by trust? This week, we’ll dive into providing a general overview of Trust and Transparency and why it’s important to cultivate as a trauma-informed leader. Next week, we’ll talk about how leaders can examine their own relationship with trust. The following week, I’ll share some concrete steps that leaders can take to cultivate trust in their teams.

Trust Defined

Trust is a term that we use a lot, but what does it mean, anyway?  Trust can be defined as, “Choosing to risk making something you value vulnerable to another person’s actions.” (Feltman, 2021, pp. 17-18). Feltman identifies four components of trust:

·         Care: The assessment that you have the other person’s interests in mind as well as your own when you make decisions and take actions. This may be the most important dimension of trust. When people believe you are only concerned with your own self-interest and don’t consider their interests as well, they may trust your sincerity, reliability, and competence, but they will limit their trust of you to specific interactions or situations.

·         Sincerity: The assessment that you are honest, that you say what you mean and mean what you say; you can be believed and taken seriously. It also means that when you express an opinion it is valid, useful, and is backed up by sound thinking and evidence. It also means that your actions will align with your words.

·         Reliability: The assessment that you meet the commitments you make, that you keep your promises.

·         Competence: The assessment that you can do what you are doing or propose to do. In the workplace, this usually means others believe you have the requisite capacity, skill, knowledge, and resources to do a particular task or job.

Feltman emphasizes that trust is not an all or nothing concept. Someone can be trustworthy in one domain, but not in another.

It is impossible to discuss Trust without discussing Distrust. Distrust is the general assessment that something that I value is not safe with this person in this situation. When we distrust another person, team, or situation, we engage in activities that protect ourselves. These very activities impede our ability to effectively engage at work and with our colleagues, be productive, and get the job done. In turn, the climate of distrust will continue to grow. For example, if I distrust someone, I’m less likely to engage in honest conversations with them to break down barriers and address key issues. I might even avoid them and begin interpreting all their actions through a lens of distrust, which will only reinforce my feelings of distrust.

The following highlights how trust and distrust differ in terms of how people think, feel, behave, and what is going on in their brains and nervous system.

·         Assessments about the other person

o   Trust - I can trust this person, I am safe with this person

o   Distrust - It is dangerous to trust this person, this person poses a threat to me

·         Assessments about self

o   Trust - I am safe, I can handle whatever happens, I can be open and forthcoming

o   Distrust - I am not safe, I can’t handle what this person might do, I need to protect myself

·         Associated emotions

o   Trust - Hope, curiosity, generosity, care

o   Distrust - Fear, anger, resentment, resignation

·         Behaviors

o   Trust - Cooperating, collaborating, engaging in conversations, dialog and debate of ideas, listening, communication freely, supporting others, sharing information, offering ideas, expecting the best, willingness to examine own actions

o   Distrust - Defending, resisting, blaming, complaining, judging, avoiding, withholding information and ideas, expecting the worst, justifying protective actions based on distrust

·         Neurophysiology

o   Trust - Normal to elevated levels of oxytocin, Full availability of neocortex (the “thinking brain”) and limbic system brain structures to make decisions and act, ability to intervene in and change pre-programmed neural patterns

o   Distrust - The brain’s primary defense system (i.e., the amygdala) is “warmed up” and primed for any sign of imminent danger, elevated levels of adrenaline, cortisol, and other flight/flight/freeze/fawn chemicals, limited use of neocortex, greater reliance on defense-related pre-programmed neural patterns for making decisions and taking action

Often, we are not particularly conscious that all of this is happening without our minds and bodies. These are immediate reactions generated in the face of the situation. When we are faced with distrust, how our brains and nervous systems react is essentially the same mechanism that occurs when we experience stress and threat, which can activate or re-activate our trauma responses.

The Role of Trust in Trauma

When it comes to trauma, individuals who have experienced trauma have experienced a profound rupture in trust.  While it’s not the same as safety, the two are deeply connected with one another and trust builds on a foundation of psychological safety.  Trauma is a violation of safety, which is a violation of the trust we have in a specific person, a specific situation, or our larger environment.  For example, most of us trust that the environment within which we live is relatively safe from a major disaster, such as earthquakes, fires, floods, etc. This doesn’t mean that these things don’t happen, just that we usually trust that these things won’t happen today.  When they do happen, that trust has been violated.  Similarly, most of us trust that a cherished parent, coach, or another significant person in our life is not going to hurt us physically or sexually.  However, when it does happen, we can lose trust, not only in that specific person, but in people in general.  If our close relative is going to hurt us, who will be next?

When someone has experienced trauma, they often develop a complicated relationship with trust. I have seen individuals who have experienced heart wrenching trauma easily trust everyone around them in a way that made others uncomfortable in their presence. They trust others too quickly without assessing if the person is truly trustworthy. I have seen others vow never to trust anyone again, and they stick with that promise. Both practices of inconspicuous trust and denial of trust come from the same place. If the important people in your life were not trustworthy, how do you know if you can trust someone?

Trust and Distrust in the Workplace

Trust in the workplace is the feeling that staff members have that their leaders are fair, respectful, and treat them well. Trust is built on a foundation of transparency, openness, and positive relationships between employees and leadership. While trust is distinct from psychological safety, work environments characterized by trust are also considered to feel safer for employees. Organizational cultures characterized by trust are more resilient and can tolerate change and uncertainty, because team members feel like their leaders are reliable and honest with them. There are several benefits for cultivating trust and transparency on your teams:

•          Team members have clarity on what’s expected of them

•          Team members understand why the organization has made certain decisions (even if they don’t agree with them)

•          Team members are less likely to make unfavorable comparisons to others, “why did XX get this, but I don’t?”

•          Team members know that their leader will do what they say they are going to do

How do we know if our teams are high trust or low trust teams? As a leader, you probably have a sense of whether your team has high or low trust. According to Feltman (2021), High Trust Teams:

·         Use conflict productively, focusing on processes, not people

·         Engage with each other and the team’s work

·         Commit to each other and the team’s success

·         Hold one other accountable to each other and outside stakeholders

·         Develop innovative ideas and approaches

·         Collaborate effectively

·         Communicate in open, honest, and transparent ways

·         Get results – delights customers

·         Demonstrate true camaraderie

On the other hand, Low Trust Teams:

·         Avoid conflict completely or engage in destructive conflict

·         Disengage from other team members

·         Demonstrate low commitment to the team goals

·         Avoid accountability

·         Lack innovation

·         Demonstrate poor collaboration and duplication of efforts

·         Withhold information, have a hidden agenda

·         Miss deadlines and have poor output

·         Demonstrate false camaraderie, disinterest, and disrespect

At times, a specific event might trigger our team members’ trauma response and send them into actively distrusting their peers. For example, during the COVID-19 pandemic, many of my peers and team members were at consistently activated levels of response and constantly on edge. As a result, when directives came down from leadership that they disagreed with, they were more likely to interpret negative intent to those actions and begin the cycle of distrust. In the past, they may have felt close and connected, but when something scary happened, they went into their own activated response and behaved in ways that seemed out of character, which negatively impacted trust across the team more broadly.

Over the coming weeks, we’ll dive more deeply into providing some concrete strategies you can use as leaders to create an environment defined by trust and cultivate it in your teams.

What are some ways that you have seen trust and distrust play out in your work environments? Comment below.