Over the past couple of weeks, we have done a deep dive in to the second of the “Four Pillars of Trauma-Informed Leadership™”, Trust. This week, we’re focusing on sharing specific strategies that you can use with both individuals on your team, and with your team more broadly to cultivate trust. I will be the first to admit that these can be difficult. When you lead a team who has experienced significant ruptures in trust, whether this occurred prior to you stepping into your position, or while you have been a leader, it can be challenging to chart a new course. Many team members can be deeply embedded in the narrative that the leadership or organization is not trustworthy. I’m not going to pretend that any of these activities lead to changes overnight. We are talking about significant organizational shifts that occur over a period – at least six months to a year, or even longer. This work takes a conscious commitment on the part of you as a leader to implement. However, it is possible.
How to Build Trust with Individuals on Your Team
The following are some strategies that you can use with individual members of your team to cultivate trust:
· Consistency – While this may seem like a no-brainer, I think that many leaders dismiss the important role that they play in just being consistent with their team members. This means to be present, check in, follow-up with staff. I understand that all leaders might feel differently about this. I have known leaders who were happy to be available for their staff members 24/7. For me personally, that was a bit difficult (and wasn’t a business necessity for my job). The important thing is to understand what being consistent means to you and communicating that message to your team. Are you available by text message or by phone if they need you? How often do you check-in with them? Your consistent and authentic presence helps to build trust.
· Have the hard conversations – For many leaders, this might be the most challenging part of their jobs. I know it was for me. However, I can’t stress this enough - don’t put these off or think that the problem will “just go away.” When I start leading staff members, I will tell them that one of my commitments is to have hard conversations with them early – if I’m worried about something, they will know it. Prior to having the conversation, it’s important to become clear on the issue that is occurring, and what type of resolution will bring about the best solution to the issue. If you’re bothered by something, take a step back and examine why this is bothering you. Is it the way that your staff member talks to others in a meeting? Maybe the issue is a lack of open communication and respect. Take some time to figure out the core issue so that you can communicate it clearly while also identifying when you are emotionally prepared to have a respectful and open conversation focused on problem-solving. In her book, “Dare to Lead”, Brene Brown highlights some great strategies to help you determine when you are ready to give tough feedback:
o I’m ready to sit next to you, rather than across from you
o I’m willing to put the problem in front of us, rather than between us
o I’m ready to listen, ask questions, and accept that I may not fully understand the issue
o I’m ready to acknowledge what you do well, rather than just picking apart your mistakes
o I recognize your strengths and how you can use them to address your challenges
o I can hold you accountable without shaming or blaming
o I am open to owning my part
o I can genuinely thank somebody for their efforts rather than just criticizing them for their failings
o I can talk about how resolving these challenges will lead to growth and opportunity
o I can model the vulnerability and openness that I expect to see from you
o Prepare to have the conversation itself.
· Question (and encourage staff to question) the “stories we tell ourselves” – This is one of my favorite strategies. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve experienced staff members who have created stories about why things are a certain way based on very disparate and inaccurate information. When you are concerned about something, or hear a rumor amongst your team members, it can be helpful to take a step back. Instead of thinking about it as absolute truth and assuming you know the whole story, acknowledge that you may not have all the information. Re-frame the situation to be, “the story I’m telling myself is” and use that language when starting conversations about concerns with your team members. I have used this strategy quite a bit and it does a powerful job of honoring our personal experiences while also acknowledging that we may not have all the accurate information and that our team members have their own unique perspective. When I’m starting a conversation, sometimes I’ll say, “the story I’m telling myself is…” and encourage them to do the same.
· Foster reliability – Consistently deliver on commitments that the team makes to each other. Reliability is foundational to building trust. Only promise things that you know you can do and don’t promise things that you don’t. If you’re uncertain, it’s okay to say, “I’m going to try this, but I’m not sure if it will work.” Then keep the team member updated on the status.
· Being approachable and friendly - People trust leaders they like. This is another one that seems so simple but can be difficult when we’re undergoing stress. If you’re feeling overwhelmed and find it difficult to be open and approachable with your team, take a brief break and ground yourself by doing some breathing exercises, listening to calming music, and just taking care of yourself. Doing this for just 5 minutes can be surprisingly helpful in allowing us to show up for others.
· Championing authenticity, empathy and humanity – Be clear that you will be your authentic self and encourage them to do that same.
· Show support for your team members, even when they make mistakes – We all make mistakes. How we handle mistakes is fundamental to building trust in our teams. It’s so important that we will devote time on future articles to dive deeper into this. For now, remember that we are all human and we all make mistakes. It’s how we handle mistakes that matters.
· Set boundaries - When leaders are as clear as possible about what is acceptable, people feel more psychologically safe than when boundaries are vague or unpredictable. In a future blog post, we are going to spend a lot of time going into detail about boundaries and why they are important, especially within a trauma-informed leadership framework. However, in general, boundaries create safety. They serve as guard rails, telling us when is acceptable and what isn’t. Boundaries are your friend – implement them and then adhere to them.
· Hold people accountable for transgressions - When people cross boundaries set in advance and fail to perform up to set standards, you must hold them accountable in a fair and consistent way. This is critical for a couple of different reasons. First, if you set boundaries and don’t hold someone accountable for transgressing them, then “boundaries” become “suggestions”. Second, when you have one member of your team who violates a boundary, and your other team members see that person get away with it, then the entire team will experience frustration. Not only have you allowed someone to violate the sacred expectations you set up with your boundaries, but you also sent a message that it really doesn’t matter, and people can behave however they want. While staff members likely will not always know the ways you set a specific staff member accountable, creating a culture where you are clear that everyone must follow the boundaries is an essential first step.
How to Build Trust within the Broader Team Dynamic
The following are some specific strategies that you can use at the team level to create trust:
· Create psychological safety – Trust on teams is impossible to create without psychological safety. For suggestions on how to create psychological safety on your team, you are encouraged to review this article.
· Build trust by talking about it – Have a conversation about trust as a team. Identify what builds trust and what can damage it for each team member. Develop a short list of the critical behaviors and practices of all team members – including the leader – can engage in to build and behaviors that can damage it.
· Consider all voices – Ensure that all team members are involved in discussions regarding potential actions and directions, making decisions, and coordinating action.
· Make and use team agreements –Talk about and agree on how you will work with each other, including how you will work through disagreements and conflicts. Discuss how decisions will be made: how you will make, keep or change commitments, and what regular practices you will keep (such as starting each meeting with a quick check-in). Create a plan for how you will communicate with each other and how you will hold each other accountable.
· Mind the team’s Mission/charter – Keep the team’s Mission/charter front and center. The team’s charter or mission states the results the team is expected to produce and for whom and why. It provides the context for all conversations, decisions and actions team members will engage in together. It is the “WHY”.
· Build camaraderie – While the team may agree, disagree, argue and debate passionately about the best course of action, they do so as a band of comrades working towards a shared Mission. While they might disagree, they still enjoy being with each other and can have fun together.
Building trust takes TIME. This is something that needs to be slowly cultivated in small moments and interactions. However, you will feel it when it happens and then you just need to continue nurturing it and watch it grow!
What are some strategies you’ve used to cultivate trust on your teams? Comment below.